How can we help?
We were told by Mr. Rogers to “look for the helpers” whenever tragedy strikes. And with the world as it is right now, so many of us want to help. We want to be the helpers!
But how do we help when the needs seem so astronomical and we all have limited time, resources and energy?
And how can we contribute in ways that actually make an impact?
The instinct to help comes naturally to many of us. Helping others can make us feel good, it can give us meaning, purpose and can become a core part of our identity. But how to help, who to help and how much to help have always been more complicated.
And accepting help ourselves? That is never easy.
It was 13 years ago when I was in Northern Uganda doing my field project for graduate school when I really started to grapple with the complexities around helping. It was a time when I could not ignore the uncomfortable disconnect between the actual needs of people and the aid being given. Soon I began tacking on the question, “what does it mean to help?” to my interviews.
Since then I have continued to wrestle with my own capacity for contribution. Negotiating my feelings of great responsibility and also questioning my naiveté. It is painful when you believe the only way to contribute is through jobs that you cannot get and when the ones you do get, burn you out. Thankfully, though, I have widened my definition of helping as I gave up my martyrdom and opened myself to receiving help from others:
What I’ve learned is there is no hierarchy of help. Helping can be simple and it can be humble.
It can be how you show up in your family, your neighborhood and community.
It can be how you treat your co-workers and it can be a kind word to a stranger.
We all remember a time when a simple gesture from another human made a huge difference in our lives.
That being said, the problems humanity faces are vast and complicated. And there are a lot of people close and far who could really use some help. Though giving money is important, we also need to do the hard work to understand what people in their own unique contexts actually need.
We also need to understand what we can actually give (boundaries anyone?). The painful reality is that you alone will not be able to help everyone who asks. But together, with our varied talents, interests, skills, knowledge and enthusiasm - we have a chance.
Because what makes you you, what lights you up and energizes you is going to be the very vehicle in which you make the most impact.
So how do you want to contribute at this time and what kind of help do you see as being most useful in your community? Also, how do we help tragedies that are far away in contexts that we may not understand? And can you really help anyone who is not open to it?
Join us for a conversation over a food you would like a second helping of at a virtual gathering that will hopefully serve as a catalyst for IRL action.
Our upcoming Virtual Gathering’s theme is: Helping
When: Wednesday, April 24th, 8PM ET
How: Sign up here. Zoom details will be sent on the day of the event.
Cost*: $25 for you and $40 for you and a friend